This Father’s Day (June 15), take a closer look at what fatherhood means. Strip away the gift wrap and ribbon, and you might find that the most valuable things aren’t things at all – they are moments, memories and meaningful connections.

Fatherhood is not about perfection, it’s about presence

Become the man you want your daughter to marry. Become the man you want your son to become.
These are the words of Craig Wilkinson, a leading voice on fatherhood in South Africa. Known as the Dad Coach, Wilkinson is a bestselling author and award-winning social entrepreneur. His insights stem from his journey as a single father and years of working with men. He’s the author of DAD – How to Be the Father Your Children Need and It’s a Dad! – Every man’s guide to pregnancy, birth and becoming a father.
Recognising the profound impact of fatherlessness in South Africa, he founded the non-profit organisation Father a Nation in 2013.

Changing dynamics of fatherhood

The evolution of fatherhood shows a move towards greater shared responsibility in childcare, with fathers increasingly involved in tasks like nappy changing and feeding. “While it is cooler to be a hands-on dad than it used to be, socioeconomic factors and rising divorce rates mean that more children are growing up with an absent father.”
This reality is underscored by the State of South Africa’s Fathers report, released in February 2025, which reveals that in 2023, only 35.6% of South African children lived with their biological fathers, while a higher 40.3% lived with non-biological fathers. Highlighting this trend, Stats SA’s latest Marriage and Divorce report, released last month, shows a decrease in marriages and a significant 10.1% rise in divorces in 2023.
Then, says Wilkinson, there is the reality of fathers who live in the same house as their children, but are emotionally and physically detached.
“Often, this is an intergenerational struggle. Our mandate as men is to break the cycle, which requires us to act with purpose and awareness. If you do not want to perpetuate your father’s mistakes, you must become the man you wish your father was,” he says.
“To become the father your children need, you must first address your own inner challenges and issues, such as ange. ”Men can actively work through these by seeking therapy, practising self-reflection or engaging in personal development programmes.

Be present

Building on the importance of addressing personal challenges, being present and engaged emerges as a cornerstone of effective fatherhood.
“This means actively participating in your children’s lives through quality time: Putting aside distractions like TV and cellphones to create memories, spend time just hanging out and embarking on adventures together.”
Wilkinson suggests dedicated one-on-one time, like treating a daughter like a princess on a date or asking a son how he would like to spend time with you, all phone-free.
“The more you hang out together, the stronger your bond will be and the more likely your children will be to feel safe to share their challenges and problems with you.”
Simple acts, like eating meals together at the table and sharing about your day, can be profoundly impactful.
“This simple act can save families and create beautiful memories.

What a good idea to let the little ones give Dad a book they can read together, or use to cook together!
Time spent together is the most valuable and appreciated Father’s Day gift ever!